When people talk about a ‘road to recovery’ we always want and hope for it to be smooth sailing. We all paint the ideal image in our minds of how we want it all to be, that light at the end of the tunnel. What happens when reality hits though and that light flickers out of sight? The ideal image in our head becomes so dampened the colours all start to run? Then what?
Well, let’s start by saying no journey is smooth. There are always going to a few bumps along the way. They may be slightly more painful sometimes, believe me when I say it feels like you hit the ground running at times. It can hurt, there is no denying it. The scary part comes next. Working out how to take the next step forward again.
For a number of different reasons this week it has felt like I have taken knock back, after knock back. Now having had several months of therapy which has taught me amazing skills and coping techniques I thought to my self ‘I got this.’
Turns out I hadn’t. So the steps I have been taking forward on my journey were in fact travelling in reverse. This would have usually caused great upset, but after talking through things with a very good, very honest friend I realised something quite important. Now my friend said this to me
‘So what you’ve fallen down the ladder 2,3 or 4 steps. You’re not gonna stay there. You know what it’s like higher up, you’ve been there before.’
At first I brushed it off as they were just trying to make me feel better, but after a while I began to realise that I have been higher before. I do know what it’s like, and actually what is the big deal that I’m having a rough few days.
When you have a lot on your plate to juggle as part of your everyday life, wether that is a combination of physical health, mental health, family or work commitments, it can sometimes be difficult to separate what is part of being ‘normal’ (what is that anyway?) and what is part of your ‘healing’
Bad days happen, bad weeks happen. Hiding them won’t help anyone, but living in them isn’t recommended either. The view is much nicer a few steps ahead. So don’t be alone, look around you and see who is there. Reach out that hand and do not shake it with someone at the moment as it isn’t allowed but wave and say ‘Hi’ send that email, or that text (that’s what I ended up doing) and take that first step back.
Always have hope that a better day is coming, small steps in your journey may make it longer, but it will be much more manageable and achievable, in the long run more rewarding too.
Just to share as well! I broke my laptop this week, so if anything looks a bit odd with posts, and stuff that’s why! – this didn’t help the bad week by the way! However still able to write, still able to edit the majority of this site (I hope)