At the end of the rainbow.

It’s the sunniest day, clear blue sky with only the smallest of clouds seen floating by in the sky.  The sounds of birds singing their songs in the distant trees, the laughter of the children echoing from the distant park, and the not so silent engines from the cars heading out for their days at the beach.  As I sit here alone, behind the closed doors of the house wishing I had the energy to join in with the activities taking place in the sunshine.  Wondering what was packed in the cars, a picnic? Maybe even a football or a frisbee? Hoping that the people heading out for the day would have a lovely day.  The songs from the birds seemed to go on forever, it never ended.  Where did they get their energy from?  Did they have any that I could have?  Listening to the laughter coming from the park I began to think; when was the last time I visited a park?  Sat on the swings and pushed myself so high and felt that freedom with the wind rushing past my ears the higher I got.  Climbed across the monkey bars as I held my breath hoping that I could do it that one time without letting go, or getting to the stop of the slide and taking in the view before speeding to the ground with a smile on my face.  It sure has been a while.

              Listening to those joyous sounds suddenly made those hands on the clock move quicker than I had ever experienced.  Before I knew it, the morning was over, and as the afternoon set in the clouds became thicker and heavier.  The wind started to blow through the trees with more force, making the leaves fall a little and fly through the air; the sun became disguised behind a shade of grey as more clouds appeared and coated the sky.  The birds became silent, like they knew what was about to happen.  The sounds from the park started to scatter into the far distance, and before long the sounds of raindrops started to hit the ground.  Slowly at first, but began to get louder, faster, and then quicker and even louder.  As I stood up and looked out of the window there I could see as clear as day, the beautiful musical raindrops hitting the windowpane.  In perfect synchronization and creating the most creative patterns as they draw their tear drop streaks, parallel to each other as they race to the bottom of the window. 

              That’s when I saw it in the distance, the very feint begins of colour beginning to appear.  I was sure I could see it.  Red, Orange, Yellow, Green; I am sure they were there.  I looked harder and I could see Blue, Indigo and Violet too.  Yes, there was a rainbow.  With a bounce in my step I put something on my feet, grabbed my rain jacket, and off I went.  After all, they say at the end of the rainbow you find your pot of gold.  This is what I needed more than anything.  I had nothing left to lose, I had nothing at all.  It was worth a try.  I walked at a fast pace, constantly looking up making sure I never lost sight of the beautiful colours in the sky.  Every time I looked up the raindrops fell in my eyes and shook me up a little bit more.  I knew I could do this.  I knew my days in that dark house were over.  I was tired of hearing that everyone reaches their pot of gold.  It was my turn now.  I had to get there soon.

              Before I knew it, I was running, the colours were getting brighter, and the sun was beginning to try and break through the clouds.  I felt the beating of my heart in my chest as the excitement began to build.  Was today going to be my day?  Was I going to make it?  Could I keep going long enough to make it to the end of the rainbow?

              I turned the corner just as the last raindrop fell with a little splash in the puddle at my feet.  I stopped with a sudden jolt.  I rubbed both my eyes with disbelief, wiping away all the raindrops that had taken up residency in my hair, and on my face.  I had made it to the end of the rainbow, I don’t know how, but there were the colours clear as anything, gently kissing the green grass.  With the sun shining it was almost looking like diamonds shining.  As I walked closer, I became even more confused; where was the pot of gold that I was supposed to get?  There was not anything here.  I was standing in the most beautiful green field, with the most breath-taking rainbow but no pot of gold.  With a heavy heart I sat there, and I cried.  I cried as much as it rained that afternoon, I wondered what I had ventured out for, what it was that I was hoping for.  Wondering if I should have just stayed locked away but knowing that I needed to do this, I had to try.

Just then I heard it.

“MUM!”

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