The Power of Self-Talk and Embracing Change

Lately, I’ve been reminded just how much the way we talk to ourselves shapes everything — from our mood, to our behaviour, our perception of the world, and even the responses we give to others. That  inner dialogue which runs through our heads can either lift us up or quietly pull us down. It’s the voice that narrates our day, that interprets what happens to us, and ultimately determines how we feel about it all.

“What’s helped me most is reminding myself that it’s okay to take things slow.”

@butterflieswithrainbows

If that voice is gentle, compassionate, and encouraging, it becomes a steady hand.  Helpfully guiding us through challenges and assisting with difficult decisions and situations. But if we aren’t careful it can become quite critical or harsh.  It can make even small things feel heavier than they are, more challenging than they need to really be.  I’ve learned that being mindful of how I speak to myself doesn’t just count as self-care — it’s self-leadership. The way we talk to ourselves teaches us how to treat ourselves, and ultimately others around us. 

One true thought that quite frequently creeps in and continues to ground me is that the past doesn’t define who we are. It is really easy to look back and feel terribly weighed down by what didn’t go right, what could have gone better.  The spiral then starts of thinking about old mistakes, missed opportunities, missing versions of ourselves we’ve outgrown but were ever so fond of, or versions of ourselves we long for but will realistically never occur because, you know, life! All these experiences don’t determine where we’re going; they are simply the foundation we build our future on.

We define our future by the choices we make today, by the courage we find in uncertainty, and by how willing we are to start again. Every day is an opportunity to reintroduce yourself — not as who you were, but as who you’re becoming.  I don’t know how that sounds to you but I am very excited for the person I am becoming. 

“Change, even when it’s good, can shake up your sense of stability.”

@butterflieswithrainbows

I recently relocated — a decision that has been a very long time in the making.  It finally happened, but with it came a complexity of emotions.  Excitement, hope, and, if I’m being honest, a lot of overwhelm. Change, even when it’s good, can shake up your sense of stability. There have been moments where I’ve felt completely out of my depth — adjusting to a new environment, finding rhythm in a new routine, and navigating the emotions that come with leaving behind what’s familiar.  Despite the knowledge that my ‘familiar’ wasn’t the best, leaving it behind has left a hole which I have attempted to fill with tears on many occasions since moving. 

What’s helped me most is reminding myself that it’s okay to take things slow. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away.  We all know that famous phrase ‘slow and steady wins the race’ well it sure does.  Moving home, changing jobs, different schools, starting over, or stepping into a new chapter is a process — and it’s supposed to feel uncomfortable at first. Just like how uncomfortable a new shirt or trousers feel, they don’t become comfortable until you’ve worn them and washed them a few times, then they feel like yours. 

This season of my life has been a masterclass in self-compassion. I’m learning that it’s okay to say, “This is a lot right now.” It’s okay to pause, to breathe, to cry, to ask for help, to not rush the settling-in process — both externally and internally.

“This is the beautiful paradox of change — it can be both overwhelming and empowering.”

@butterflieswithrainbows

When I speak kindly to myself, I create space for growth instead of pressure. I remind myself that I’m allowed to be both proud of how far I’ve come and uncertain about what’s next.  The feeling proud of myself part is most definitely the most challenging, feeling proud of others though, easy peasy, right? 

This is the beautiful paradox of change — it can be both overwhelming and empowering. And through it all, the way we speak to ourselves determines how we move forward.

So enjoy the journeys we are all on, You are not your past. You are the choices you make today, the kindness you show yourself in hard moments, and the courage it takes to begin again — slowly, intentionally, and with compassion.  Most of all, you are not alone.