To my amazing butterfly,
I know you are feeling scared at the moment, you’re facing something that is completely unknown to you. I wanted to let you know that being scared is perfectly fine, don’t be afraid to share this with those around you, you definitely won’t be alone. You will be able to manage this because you are an amazing person with a wealth of knowledge and if you can believe in yourself just a small amount compared to the amount you believe in those around you, you will be just brilliant.
I know that you feel guilty, like you could have done better. Or even prevented this from happening. You always say that things happen sometimes that are completely out of our control. Do you think this was one of those things? You couldn’t have prevented it really could you? That guilt is natural, but what if you converted that guilt into another emotion? How would that feel? Try remorse? Try saying to yourself “I’m really sad that happened but I couldn’t change it, so instead I’m going to do this.” Remorse will lead you to recovery easier than guilt, it will lean you towards steps to change, encourage you to move forward. Feeling guilty about an event will keep you in that moment, for a long time. Being sad that something outside of your control has happened is alright, it doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you compassionate and caring. Qualities of an amazing individual.
I know you might be feeling lonely, like no one would truly understand the feelings and emotions that are going through your head. Those confused thoughts of anger but fear you have, of worry in case you say or do something wrong. The conflict between talking to seek advice and, talking and risk losing friends. Of being judged, labelled or excluded. The concern of having the reality check of having to re-prioritise some of the most important things in your life and not knowing if you have made the right decisions, never knowing if this is a risk that will be worthwhile. Please feel reassured that you aren’t alone, because whatever the time of day or night someone really is there for you, to listen to you, to hold your hand, to give you that much needed hug, supply you with a tea or coffee, and to just sit with you and listen to you. You really will never be alone.
That disappointed feeling you have, because you wanted to react in a different way that you felt was the right way. Those initial emotions and feelings that you allowed to surface, that you now regret. That you wish you never felt because you feel they were wrong. They weren’t wrong, they were all good, they were all the normal things that everyone feels and you managed everything so well. Your really should be proud of your skills. Look at how you took the next steps, how you looked at everything rationally, how you thought about everything slowly and calmly. Are these things to really feel disappointed about? I didn’t think so.
When all these feelings and emotions take over, overwhelm you, and are then mixed up with the addition of responsibility, love, respect for another, and experiences of others that you know it can create such a confusing atmosphere in your head. Sometimes it can seem more than a fog or a cloud. More like an electrical storm cloud, because unlike a normal cloud it’s not just blurry, it’s painful and can seem like the wrong turn will create a super charged ripple effect through the entire sky.
In order for a storm cloud to be so effective though it needs to have something to conduct the force behind it. By taking everything slowly, one step at a time, and having the realisation that you are the calm in that storm, you are in control of the direction of those lightening bolts, it will soon disperse. All storm clouds have one advantage that they don’t know about, they stop you seeing too far ahead. This means you can only ever focus on the step in front, so you see, that cloud is daft. It’s helping you to stay on track without even realising.
So, to my amazing butterfly who is reading this, I hope you can see the way through, because you really are beautiful and strong enough to face this. Remember to let that storm cloud help you, it will clear, but only if you can allow yourself you take it one step at a time.
I believe in you.
Butterflies With Rainbows